If you meet Ramani around Gloucester, you will catch the twinkle in his eye and possibly get caught up in his joyful energy, since he will undoubtedly share a smile, a laugh or a story. Recently I sat down with Ramani and allowed him to transport me to the time of his birth: The Blitz. His story is a lesson in what happens when you are born into a battle:

Children have no business being at war.

When bombs are falling all around, day after day, what horror must imprint itself? What are the consequences for a baby? This baby was tuned into its young mother’s horror. Explosions after explosions, overwhelming percussion and shaking, the smell of devastating fear is in its nostrils. It goes on and on, week after week, month after month. No solid foods can be taken, the digestion is in shock. No talk for its first 4 years. No words can come out, just images, sounds and movements are registered. The war is over but not the war inside. Body responds with hives that evolve to large blisters of baby’s and later, child’s body. He is tied down to avoid infection. It repeats and repeats for years, later without blisters “just” welts. No medical answers. London is not happy with foreigners, we are. Poverty and malnutrition and surrounded with violence is normal. Childhood to a young man plagued with brain freeze, blank; no information is remembered, just action and reaction, school is a place to place the body. Then the clouds open, this child is now a young man and his mind has adjusted. He teaches himself to create systems to function and the universe responds and amazing opportunities open up. He works in television and then theater, his deficit is an advantage in this wonderful world of make believe.  Then healing comes silently and slow, then awakening of other levels of consciousness start to evolve.  Much has happened in the 50 years after this enlightenment. My gurus are my struggle in the form of people and events, and something that can only call spiritual. I am that baby, child, young adult and adult. I am content in my hesitation, the mystery of life and in the now, my next breath is my greatest gift.

If you would like to share how you are more than your depression, grief, addiction, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorder or OCD please email me at amykerrdraws@gmail.com for a Writing Guide.

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