Lately the word “paradox” has been following me around, trying to make me understand it without success. One of the Merriam-Webster definitions of a paradox is “one (such as a person, situation or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases.” When I sat down to write this I realized Jerri is a paradox. The most composed, pleasant, polite, and organized person described a life filled with trauma, disorder and disease. When we first began talking about collaborating she laughed and said, “Do you have a limit on challenges?”

Jonathan’s I Am More portrait is one of the ones that kills me that you can’t see it in person, because the little photo on this blog is a really inadequate representation of the actual portrait. It’s the same with Chris and Friends, Justin, and Sophie. The subject matter in each (five people, a Crossfit gym, a full-body pose) required room for me to maneuver. Jonathan’s was different because his was the journey of a failed game of Twilight Zone pinball.

It’s been two years since I added a new portrait to I Am More. We’ve been through a hell of a lot since then, and as we all stand around dumfounded, trying to figure out who we are anymore, I decided I missed this project. When I put the call out for new volunteers there was a deafening…silence from the crowd. Just because I felt the calling doesn’t mean anybody else did. So I turned to a trusted friend, one of my oldest, to see if he would dip his toes in with me, and share what he had discussed with me over the pandemic. He has cheered me on from the beginning, and has also given birth to his own creative project, on top of being a successful voiceover artist (the Voice of SiriusXM’s 70s on 7, it’s exciting EVERY time!). He said he would be honored, so I said, go and make some videos of yourself doing something you love. And that love is…Twilight Zone pinball. Thanks, Jonathan, for lending your voice to reignite this project, and to your friend for capturing you in all your pinball glory (or defeat, it appears to be defeat).

There are two tired individuals in this house (and one tired dog with no excuse). Today we put up our biggest exhibit ever, with all 36 I Am More portraits and essays at the Salem State University Berry Library. Between breaking down the Paint Factory exhibit, wrapping, renting a van, loading, driving back and forth to Salem, unloading, PR (thanks Áine!), hanging (thanks Chris!), dog care (thanks Ulla!), graphic design (thanks Dylan!), all the way down to the details of cleaning and leveling the portraits, these two people are pooped.

In 2018 the first I Am More exhibit opened at the Paint Factory in Gloucester and now we’re returning with I Am More: Massachusetts for the first time in our home city.

I was talking with a young friend recently who said she had been thinking about I Am More and all the potential she saw in the project, and the inspiration it gives. She was full of ideas for collaborations and portrait subjects and she reminded me of someone I knew a while ago. Me.

You may remember the portrait of Yorkies Zoey and Prince from January. Well, they were actually the second portrait of dogs I was commissioned to do over the holidays. The first was top secret…until yesterday. So after quite a long time with no portrait commissions I had two requests in December within days of each other, and both were of dogs. But Copper was a dog I knew.

Nine years ago we bought an artist’s summer cottage as our new home. The artist who had created this space was Nell Blaine, and despite being confined to a wheelchair and limited to the use of her left hand, she left a catalogue of beloved paintings of her view and her gardens, with the help of gardeners and landscape designers. When we moved in Nell had been gone for sixteen years and the remaining garden designer gave us a tour of the acre property. There were rare native plants, a “fan garden,” hosta collection, a babbling brook…so many lovely things that met their demise when I took over, but that was just half the property. The rest was wild. And not just wild…angry wild.

“The best people.” That’s what our friend Kevin called Karen and Steven. He didn’t just say that, he said, “You HAVE to meet Karen and Steven, they are the BEST people.” I was looking for some theatre advice for my aspiring actress, and Kevin said Karen was the person to know, she managed one of the busiest theaters in the region and she would be happy to help. I thought Kevin was being naive that this incredibly busy woman would have time to help someone she had never heard of but I was wrong.

I cannot tell you how therapeutic it has been to spend my time staring at two beautiful little faces who are completely oblivious to the world around them.