I met Dave thirty-some years ago on my first real date with Iain–a whale-y wedding in Provincetown. All of the whale people were there, but I was just a young outsider who had not yet learned about the world I was entering. Dave was the warm and friendly host who couldn’t care less what I did or where I had come from, I was welcome with him. Over the last few years Iain has spent time working closely with Dave studying the whales off of our coastline and every day he comes home and shakes his head at the positivity of his friend, the joy he is to work with, and the struggles he has endured:

Cancer is a slow burn, but each story starts on a single day. “Dad – someone is on the phone for you,” said my five-year old son Luke, as he held out my phone. It was a Sunday in January 2009 and I was in the basement loading clothes into the washing machine. “Hello,” I said. “We found something we didn’t expect,” said the voice on the other end. For a year I had been going to physical therapy for back pain.  “Maybe I should get an x-ray,” I had said to my physician multiple times. “No need,” he assured me.   After months of being ignored, I had walked into his office and demanded an x-ray of my back, which led to this phone call. “What did you find?” I asked. “We found lesions on your bones,” he said. “You mean I have bone cancer?!” I said. “Well, we will have to schedule you for some tests to find out,” he said. “I’ll be at your office at 9am tomorrow,” I replied.

CANCER! I went outside for a walk in the woods along the river at the end of our road. Coming out of the river were an otter’s tracks, leaving its body imprint in the snow as it slid along on its belly. I consider otters to be one of my totem animals, but I had never before actually seen an otter slide. As I reached down to touch the track, a crow called above me. Crows are my other totem animal – one for water; one for air. “Take our energy,” they seemed to be saying. “We’ll fight this with you.”

Follow-up testing revealed I had multiple myeloma, a somewhat rare cancer of the blood that eats away and weakens your bones. My wife Liz and I sat in the oncologist’s office as she delivered the news. “With multiple myeloma you could break your arm when you open a car door. You could break your leg when you step off a curb,” she said. Life expectancy was three years. We walked out of her office in a daze. We had four and five-year-old boys and a daughter who had just started college. Three years was not going to work! We needed serious friend-energy in addition to crow and otter help. Our network kicked into action and a week later we were at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in the office of Dr. Ken Anderson, one of the world’s foremost experts on multiple myeloma. “Forget the three years,” he said. “We are going to grow old together.”  Liz and I cried as we added Anderson-energy to our world. 

Liz and I met learning how to rescue mass-stranded whales and dolphins from the beaches of Cape Cod, MA. When we started, the world believed stranded whales and dolphins could not survive and had to be euthanized. When we were done, rescuing stranded animals and returning them to life in the sea had become the new norm. Dolphin energy was definitely on our side. As part of my job at Stellwagen Bank National Marine Sanctuary, I put computer tags on humpback, fin and right whales to learn about their behavior and protect them from being killed by boats or entangled in fishing gear, which added humpback, right, and fin whales to our anti-cancer energy team.

Of course, the weekly infusions and daily ingestion of Ken Anderson’s chemical cocktails played a major part in the battle. Sometimes I would have to pull over to the side of the road and run into the woods to throw up or have diarrhea. Then I would have new wildflower or pine tree-energy to add to my collection.

It has now been over 15 years of living with cancer. Our boys are in college and our daughter is happily living as an occupational therapist in Virginia. Liz is executive director of a cool non-profit called the Marion Institute focused on health and food equity. I’m still studying whales, dolphins and seabirds and trying to keep them safe from harm. Cancer is an ever-present, but small part of our lives. While science-backed therapies are not to be forgotten, energy from family, friends and nature is the strongest medicine in the fight for life.

I Am More is made possible by donations. If you would like to make a tax-deductible donation to support new portraits and exhibits please visit fiscal sponsor Ocean Alliance’s donation page and choose “I Am More” from the list of programs. Thanks so much for your support!