Earlier this year Paul’s world collided with mine, thanks to I Am More subject, Karen. He describes the day below, which had a harrowing start, and ended with learning about this project AND learning that my husband studies whales, which is also what his father, Paul Sr., does. Since then we’ve visited the family homestead and his family has had the tour of Ocean Alliance. Despite the pain that this family has been through, and the challenges they are currently facing, watching the synchronicities flowing through their lives has been a little magical:

On a memorable Good Friday, my day started like every other until I passed the tracks at West Medford Square. A young man flagged me down and was asking for help, as he was having a schizophrenic episode. It was 5:45am. My gut was asking me at that moment, do I pass this cry for help as I have on many occasions, with the homeless asking for a hand out at traffic lights? This was different. I felt the connection with this call out for help, as it is very familiar to a scenario I have been faced with the last 5-6 and even 54 years.

On October 27th, 2017 I received a call from my sister-in-law with the cry for help that will haunt me for the rest of my days, but also has made me into the man I am today. My dear brother Jeff was having a similar episode as the young man I stumbled upon, or was placed in my path. Since that day I became consumed with trying to figure out the cause of Jeff’s multiple hospitalizations and had countless debates with my brother on how he should smarten up.

My involvement brought me to the understanding that mental illness has always been in our lives, but we have been programmed to ignore it because of the stigma and the fact it is a full-time job that hurts, and is ugly, and finally the phrase I despise, “There is nothing you can do.” On my journey I have cried out to anyone who would listen, but was met with people who chose to just keep their eye on the car in front of them and hope the next person would help out.

On October 29th, 2022 my dear brother took his own life. It is still so fresh and I am still processing the loss and how it will affect my journey as a father of three.

I knew what I had to do that day. I called for help for this young man in need and stayed with him until he was admitted into the hospital. That Good Friday evening I met Karen, a portrait subject of I Am More, who told me all about the project. I believe the events of that day were kismet, so I contacted Amy and offered to share my story.

In a NAMI class I took for family members of people with mental illness I learned that 1 in 3 people are touched by mental illness and there is a vast field of degrees. I believe the best offense is a good defense. We need to defend the stories of the people touched by mental illness so that others can learn from our trials and tribulations. I have been practicing the Serenity Prayer, asking myself to accept certain things and have the wisdom and the courage to put myself out there to change things I can. Working to preserve my father’s life’s work is my latest mission.

I saw something the other day that struck me like Paul on the road to Damascus. What is the distance between life and death? My answer is NOW! What has happened in the days behind us are what made us and brought us to this moment, what happens in our future depends on our actions Now!

To learn more about Paul Sr.’s work, check out Gotham Whale.